Monday, December 29, 2008

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #5

Mom makes a cameo.

"The Best $40" was a poem I wrote probably eight years ago. One that you would have had to been in my head to understand, I don't think I ever sent it out for consideration. Lucky (unlucky) for you, now you don't have to wonder what the hell it means. You can just come by, waste a minute and eight or nine seconds, and see a little bit of the machinations inside my pea-doodler.

All work, except the intro music, is mine (jason l. huskey)
Theme is Sonata for 2 violins by Telemann distributed by MIT on a CC 2.0 lic.

Happy New Year!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #01

For the second year in a row, I'll leave you with a little Tom Waits. Christmas Card From A Hooker in Minneapolis is one of the most soul-wrenching pieces you'll ever hear. This is the same video as last year, I think, so I'll again groan for you at the audience reactions through parts of it.

This will carry me into the new year--unless there's another pub to promote. So, anyway. . . the pope is on, I've got another round of cookies to make, and I'm feeling more tired this year than most. Peace and joy comfort you like the bottle just an arms-length away. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.


Wednesday, December 24, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #02 Hell In The Valley (Premiere)

Last year about this time I had probably lied down after a day of gathering wood and an evening of burying one of our dogs. At about 10:00AM on Christmas Eve, a varicose vein broke out of my leg and sent me to the hospital for stitches and another shot to the little nest egg (escape money, bail, whatever you call it) I had been nurturing. Losing about a quart of blood would probably dampen any fool's festive mood--and it sure killed mine.

But a year's gone by, my leg's a little healthier (though the support socks are a little aggravating), and the egg is trying to put on some weight as I try to take some off. Lost forty pounds between May 12 and October 3-- it's gone back up a little since--and I'm looking forward to get back on track in a week or two.

Things haven't changed too much since last year--I guess it could always be worse. Hell, my writing's been finding success--twelve or so publications--considering I've only submitted to maybe 165 journals over that time. I have a heck of a lot to be thankful for.

This year I started learning the ins and outs of Windows Movie Maker. Made a few little short clips parodying Conan the Barbarian. About the same time I was releasing those on Youtube, I began working on a Western project that had been rolling around inside my head. Originally thought to be something for my little nephews and niece, it became a Silent picture featuring plastic cowboys and indians as the cast.

For Christmas this year, I am offering it to the world and the thirty views it will probably get in the next year or so. It's long, a little dry, and a little rough, but what "art" ain't? So, without much more talky/talky, I present to you:

Hell In The Valley Of Lorde's Creek.
a jlh production.

No budget. Me playing guitar. Miniatures. A bird house and a bird feeder standing in as a town square. Oh, you better believe it! All work's mine, if you couldn't tell. ;-)

Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

TTPOC 2008: #03: Movie Review: Bad Santa (2003)

Bad Santa

Since the mid-90s, Hollywood has thrown many Holiday-themed pictures our way, thinking we mindless idiots would lap them up the way we had with the genuine modern classics. More often than not they failed to deliver any of the charm or warmth that made a Christmas movie a wonderful experience. Year after year, we were tortured out of our minds as the same stories cycled through the Cineplex.

In 2003, Terry Zwigoff made a film called Bad Santa and gave us one of the funniest, raunchiest, nastiest, beautifully heartfelt 90 minutes of Christmastime bliss that we as movie fans were craving.

Billy Bob Thornton stars as Willie, a foul-mouthed, sex-crazed alcoholic, who works seasonally as Santa Claus (and the Easter Bunny --Sequel Bait?--) and with his little sidekick, the mastermind behind it all, robs the shopping malls they work for. Drawn back into the game because he pissed away the money from the previous score, Willie wants nothing more than a bottle of whiskey, a quickie, his money, and to be left the hell alone.

Through an encounter of innocence with a shy chubby boy simply called The Kid, played wonderfully by Brett Kelly, and various sexual encounters with a Santa fetishist, played by the adorable Lauren Graham, Willie's Scrooge-like exterior begins to melt and makes him begin to see the scumbag that he is.

While the vulgarity and the situations here are hilarious and down-right crude, the great thing about Bad Santa is the fact that it has, in its deepest, deepest core, a fast-beating heart that finds a way to make the Season bright. Even Willie's salvation isn't so much touching as it is hilarious and keeping with the tone of the movie (he beats the hell out of a kid).

Thornton, Kelley, and Graham shine in this gem, but the main attraction is the wise-cracking, diminutive crook/elf played by Tony Cox, whose mouth is a mile of sewage a second and some of the exchanges with Thornton's character are floor-rolling fare.

For a good time, when the lights are low and the kiddies are off to their rooms to pretend they are sleeping, do yourself a favor and queue up Bad Santa. You won't regret it.

Bernie Mac and John Ritter co-star.

For Its Genre/Era/X: Awesome.

Overall: Awesome.

One more...she's just too cute.

Monday, December 22, 2008

TTPOC 2008: #04: Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz #4


"Weekend in Appalachia" was a poem I wrote on the way back from Grundy, Virginia two years ago. Personal, it's a downer for the holidays, sure, but there's snow involved, and on the occasion of family coming together. It's just like Christmas.

As it is Christmas, I got you nice present. I was gonna sing a carol. You're welcome.

Music is: "Deck The Halls" by Kevin MacLeod ( Licensed under Creative Commons "Attribution 3.0""

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #05 - "The Cross"

My poem, "The Cross," appears today on the site EverydayPoets. Thanks to the editors for their suggestions. You can vote on it, if you like, and even comment on it. It's a winter poem, so what better day for it to debut, huh? Check them out!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #06

Christmas Lights set to Pantera's "Primal Concrete Sludge"

Kringle-Lingle Awesome.

Friday, December 19, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #07

Cold Blooded Christmas by Jon Lajoie:

Funny for your Wednesday. Wait...It's Not Wednesday???

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #08

Twisted Sister wishes you a peaceful Christmas season. Pretty funny reworking of the classic 12 Days with a metal coat of paint.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #09

I love re-cut trailers. This one takes Christmas Vacation and turns it into a Thriller. Fairly entertaining. timfbdub made it.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #10

This is from Trans-Siberian Orchestra. It's one of the coolest modern Christmas songs in decades. Being a former side-project of the Heavy Metal band Savatage, the runs of lines, the sorta-rounds if you will, are truly amazing. Savatage used this technique quite often to great effect. If you haven't already, I'd recommend the track "Chance" from the album "Handful of Rain."

It is epic.

Monday, December 15, 2008

TTPOC 2008: #11: Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz #3

# 3:

"Revelations On A Saturday Afternoon" is one of my oldest poems. I think editors would get to it, groan at it, and reject my mss because of it--especially when it was titled simply "A." It is sing-songy sorta, and a little too repetitive, but Hey! It is what it is. I liked it enough to revive it.

All work is mine except the intro (telemann son 4 2 violins by MIT CC2).

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #12

"It Was A Cold, Bleak Christmas Eve"

From one of my favorite childhood movies, Scrooged.

My brother and I were dorks. We shared a room through a bit of our youth and we'd play movie trivia games at night while we were awaiting sleep. One night, we recited most of this movie by memory, each taking various parts. My favorite exchange is when he grills his secretary about the drawings her children gave her.


Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Thirteen Posts of Christmas 2008: #13

This is Megadeth covering Alice Cooper's "No More Mr. Nice Guy." Supposedly Dave was so fucked up during this shoot that the director had to shoot him twice, because he couldn't play and lip-synch at the same time. This was during the only period when Megadeth was a three-piece band--just prior to forming their greatest lineup (imho) and releasing the greatest metal album ever: Rust In Peace.

This song was on the "Shocker" soundtrack, a great movie by Wes Craven. I picked the album up at Roses a decade ago. Frickin' Roses!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #2

Work #2:

Click for bigger text, if you can't read it.

The photo, text, poem, and other crap are mine. Attribution would be cool.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #1


"Photo of Walker's Presbyterian Church, Jan. 9, 2007"

Today's Preposthumous Poetry and Stuffz is a Haiku. I tried a gimmick and got my butt handed to me by the editor I wrote it for because I titled it. hahaha. I can't stand things not having a title. I like titles. Some of my crappiest pieces have the best (imho ymmv) titles. Anyway, the picture is of Walker's Presbyterian Church located in Hixburg, Virginia. It was my church throughout my childhood.

The music is provided through a Creative Commons Attribution ShareAlike 2.0 License. I remixed it a little for continuity and such, and you are free to strip it from the video if you choose. I destroyed it, but if it floats your tuba, go ahead. The song is Two Violin Sonata No. 1, Mvmnt. 3 by Georg Philipp Telemann as performed by RP and E Goldstein and as distributed by MIT and wiki.

The photo, text, poem, and other crap are mine. Attribution would be cool.

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