Friday, December 25, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #01

The tradition continues. This is my favorite song of Waits's. Again, a lot of dickholes in the audience during certain parts. Merry Christmas.

Till we meet again.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #02

So, it is that time of year again. I'm typing this early, so I'm not sure if my Mississippi Mud is gonna turn out right, but I'm sure it has. This year's been full of ups and downs. A few publications here and there, and I did manage to find a job. But my production has slowed and I lost my best bud of seventeen years. Big Boy, the cheeto-eatin' namesake of the blog, passed away while I was off to Roanoke. He was so fucking awesome.

I'm not ready to shroud him in blue yet.

Anyway, 2010 is approaching. I've already got poetry lined up for a few places (one I've tried to get into a couple of times). I wish I had more to share with you, but I guess I'll repost what I thought was my best preposthumous piece, which no one saw:

"Gunfire in Richmond" kicks ass. Tell your friends.

Soon, once I get access to a cabal of high speed internets, I'm gonna upload two videos I made in the past year. A video for Strapping Young Lad's "Detox" and a trailer for my first poetry manuscript that I haven't even submitted to anyone yet. The latter video even includes lines that have already been revised before this last submission period.

Merry Christmas, friends.
Happy New Year, too.

I'll leave you with a little funny. Here's that viral Bauer v. Claus video:

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

TTPOC #3: Movie Review: Die Hard (1988) (Recut)

When her company expands to the west coast, working mother Holly McClane makes a decision that ends up tearing her family apart. Chasing a promotion into the California wilds, with her children in tow, Holly leaves New York and her husband to the icy draft of her exit. Months pass. The separation wears their marriage to a fine dust. Between all of the arguments and painful bursts of truth, Holly begins to doubt if they can ever rekindle what was.

Christmas Eve comes. Arrives in California with a cool breeze: A man, a stuffed bear, and the unease of doing what's right. The cards are stacked. Will the hero sweep her off her feet? Or will his foot and mouth reconnect to ruin the only chance he has left? Has too much time elapsed? Has she found someone new? Is there any hope at all?

Die Hard (1988) is the heartwarming story of a police detective from New York City traveling three thousand miles to rejoin his family for the holiday season. Tested by an active Christmas Eve evening, filled with all the glamor and horror of a holiday business party, one father, one husband, one man, must walk through the shards of hell to save what matters most.

Bruce Willis stars as John McClane, a tough-talking cop who will stop at nothing to see his family brought back together. Filled with enough emotional highs and lows to fill a roomful of stockings, Die Hard is the Christmas gift that won't quit. Whether it is the look in Holly's eyes as she sees him for the first time in months, or the look on John's face as an inferno rush of heat comes to blush his cheeks at a fleeting moment of triumph, it's hard to keep from melting to the wonder and majesty of this Romantic fantasy.

With an outstanding supporting cast, including Bonnie Bedelia as Holly, Reginald VelJohnson as the likable angel on John's shoulder, and Alan Rickman as the chief rival to the lover's reunion, Die Hard is much more than your run-of-the-mill romantic dramas. It is an all-time classic of the genre.

Directed by John McTiernan, who packs every second with the right blend of warmth and tension, the film plays every note to perfection, even the surprise ending (that really can't be explained rationally), and keeps the screen packed with all the elements that made Hollywood great.

While some may throw about the term "chick-flick" or just label it as just another Christmas movie, let it be known that it is so much more than that. Die Hard is the very definition of the Christmas spirit. It's about family coming together. It's about finding all the joy missing from life, and it comes neatly packaged in two hours of bliss.

The film reminds us of the good in the world. It reminds us of the strength it sometimes takes to get what we need most in life. It reminds us that in the end, through hard work and the right attitude, we may be victorious.

Die Hard is a must-see for the season.

For Its Genre: Awesome.
Overall: Awesome.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #04

Christmas Poem. Written by a soldier. I think the breakdown is on the Youtube video description.

Monday, December 21, 2009

TTPOC #5: Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz #32

Click to en-biggen

"The Moment Before The Shot, She Exhales" was a poem about a female sniper. It still is, but now she's shooting a badly drawn santa throwing horns and hissing. Just having some fun as about ten inches of powder falls from above.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #06

Gremlins Parody.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #07

Another Light Show with a little more heavier feel to it.

Friday, December 18, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #08

Another well-done re-cut trailer, featuring one of my favorite Christmas movies. Home Alone.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

TTPOC #09: Movie Review: National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation


Yule Crack Up!

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation (1989) tells the story of one man's attempt to have an old-fashioned happy family Christmas. A holiday classic, Vacation is an excellent comedy that should be in everyone's collection. It just seems it isn't Christmas without it.

Chevy Chase stars as Clark W. Griswold (reprising his role from the earlier vacation films), a Romantic at heart who will stop at nothing to get his family into the real meaning of Christmas spirit. But as his house quickly fills up between warring in-laws, his nitpicking children, an uninvited cousin-in-law (with family and RV in tow), animals going ape, and a year-end bonus check up in the air, he's finding out that the holiday is driving him insane.

'Tis The Season To Be Merry!

A far-ranging comedy, from the toilet to the heartstrings (it was written by the wonderful John Hughes), Christmas Vacation works on so many levels because we've all been there in spirit. Sure, our cousin-in-law may've never emptied his shitter into our storm drain, and maybe an asshole uncle has never burned down the Christmas tree, but it's all about nerves, and I bet anyone has had his balls (her toes) stepped on by a relative at some point in time.

And that's the point of this comedy or any good story when dealing with issues of an everyday nature. The normal frustrations of a family Christmas (finding the perfect tree, getting a sudden headache, not getting what we wanted or expected) is amplified to a Godly power of ten here. And it shows us the true spirit of the holiday season—namely that shit happens, so just suck it up and be thankful for having family and friends to be able to hold company with.

Chase plays his character well, moving in an almost manic fashion about the spectrum of sanity. His eyes outplay his words in many memorable moments, which are always an excellent indication of someone adding more than just breath behind a line of script. The big rant about his boss is awesome, especially the huffing call for Tylenol at the end of it.

Chase is supported here by a talented cast, which includes Beverly D'Angelo, Juliette Lewis, William Hickey, and Brian Doyle-Murray among others, and each helps the production get the most out of Hughes's script. Randy Quaid stands out as Cousin Eddie, a man described as having a bigger heart than brain. A likable character, Eddie's equipped with enough persona and peculiarities to have a script all his own ( not the abomination fourteen years later, mind you, but a Hughes script. Seriously, wtfwt?).

As far as comedy goes, most of the bits here hit solidly, with only a few odd or flat. The only real aspect of it I don't really care for is the whole grating Yuppie couple next door bits. Some of it's okay, but I guess it just feels kinda out of place.

A holiday movie with tons of laughs, a good heart, and some memorable moments, Christmas Vacation is a necessity for this time of year.

For its Era/Genre/Etc.: Awesome
Overall: Great.

Aside: I just fair used the hell out of Ms. Scorsese. Yowza!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #10

"Carol of the Bells" Pretty awesome light display.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #11

Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without Weird Al.

Monday, December 14, 2009

TTPOC #12: Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz: Work #31

Click to En-Biggen

Early Christmas Morning is one of my "oldest" poems. Not sure how old. I retired it a while ago and forgot I had done so. The little illustration a one-off I did just a few minutes before putting it into p-shop. Merry Christmas.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

The Thirteen Posts Of Christmas 2009: #13

I saw Megadeth at the National on November 21. It was a hell of a show. This snippet is just some of the footage available on Youtube. Following this link will allow you to see them...

Sidenote: I may or may not make a cameo appearance in this video. @ 1:15. Fat head. Check. Glasses. Check. Megadeth cap pulled down low. Double Check. I'm pretty sure that's me. I'm also pretty sure I'm going deaf, too. \m/

My new job, not to mention my shitty new ISP, has really taken some time away from me and posting here, and though TW Fridays and the Preposthumous Poetry posts are somewhat in the past, I didn't want this part of the blog's history to go to waste.

Most of the posts this year will be new. One will definitely be old, since google took my hits away from it (for adding a "Christmas" tag to it (no less)). I figure it wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings. No one remembers 2007 anyway.

Sorry, 2007.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009


"Clean," a poem, appears in the current issue of Ginosko Literary Journal. It can be downloaded here. Robert Paul Cesaretti edits this wonderful journal. Check it out!

Thursday, October 8, 2009

"The Blackout"

"The Blackout" was selected as one of the five showcase pieces from the first annual S4C competition hosted by Declaration Editing. Much thanks to Vinnie Kinsella and Maureen Inouye.

Where'd HE GOOO??!!

Where'd who go?

I got employment.
Happy dance all around.
I got employment in a field I know nothing about.
Lulz dance all around.
Part one of the job (administrative) fell into place within six-to-seven days.
Part two (technical stuff) really started today. Injured posterior dance.
So, the hiatus on Preposthumous things will continue for the time being.
As far as work goes, I still have a few in the queue,
plus about thirty places still "considering" others.

I'll update more often soon.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

"It's All Cool"

"It's All Cool," a poem, appears in the new issue of Four & Twenty. This is my second time appearing in this unique journal. Vinnie Kinsella edits. Check Them Out!

Monday, August 17, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #27

Okay, so, yeah; I was mistaken. I guess I wasn't ready to kill off this little ditty just yet. The numerical sequence is now fucked, but it's all good.

click to en-biggen

This piece is "Utilized." If you are an editor (and you hate me) you've probably seen this one before (in one of its many revisions). Been sending out this little tale of wanting/needing since the beginning of the haul (2004). I've always liked it. But I just couldn't feel it anymore. So, BLAM-BLAM-BLAM-BLAM!

Such is life.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #30

Click to en-biggen

"The Wind And The Witness" was another 4-and-20 from the NAPOWRIMO. It's about divorce. It's kinda cold and aloof and now it has a bullet in its head. The artwork is especially bad this time around as you can see. Lol.

There may be a short hiatus after this week's, not sure; I'm out of town and trying to find some direction with some things. Who knows? Maybe I'll bust out some MS-Paint on one of their computers. Go crazy! Wee.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Timewaster Fridays Presents:

David Mamet Power (Half) Hour.

A Little Comedy:

A Little Music:

A Little Drama:

Just saw Redbelt. Pretty awesome.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz #29:

"Meow-Meow: for susan" I don't really remember the story here. I do and I don't. I tried to revise it later, but it still felt too clingy and inaccessible. Dead, here it be.

Click to en-biggen

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Timewaster Fridays Presents:

A Day Late/Dollar-Short Edition

A Little Comedy:

A Little Music:

Monday, July 27, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz #28

"Fallen Angles"

Afterlife of cities/bodies/souls in ruin. Resurrected from death for a limited time only.

click to en-biggen

Friday, July 24, 2009

Timewaster Fridays Presents:

Some Funny:

"Pie" by Whitest Kids U Know

Some Music:

"Lullaby For The Taken" by Kimya Dawson

Some Literature (Pimping/Ho-ing): Part 7 of "The Blackout" is up @ Six-Guns and Soda Pop.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #26

"The Nature of Environment"

Oldish poem. Dead. Now Alive. Harsh memories of our climate.

click to en-biggen

Friday, July 17, 2009

Monday, July 13, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #25

"Before The Drunk Teenager Ran The Red Light"

Oldish poem, dead, seeks afterlife. Story of a man and the fading memory of his fiancee after she's been killed in an automobile accident. Possibly written around the time some dumb high school girl got loaded on a New Year's Eve a few years ago in Richmond. Killed a bartender. Not sure. It's dead. But it's now alive.

click to en-biggen

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

"The Blackout"

Part Two is up over at the Commonplace. Friday's will change the pace a tad, if it's a little too boring for you at the moment. Part of the S4C thing promoted by Declaration Editing.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Two Poems

billy barty Pictures, Images and Photos

Ass, Eaten and I Did Not Put My Dick In That Woman, two poems, appear in the current issue (#121) of Zygote in my Coffee. Brian Fugett edits this awesome journal. Check them out!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #24

"First Innings And Death"

Just a picture I took at a Salem Red Sox minor league game coupled with a 4&20 from NaPoWriMo.

click to en-biggen

Friday, July 3, 2009

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

"The Blackout"

Part one of the serial is now up at Six-Guns as part of the S4C challenge sponsored by Declaration Editing. Come join, give feedback, hate yourself in the morning.

Monday, June 29, 2009

"Don't You, Honey Sugar, Sweet"

"Don't You, Honey, Sugar, Sweet," a poem, appears in the current issue (#7) of Breadcrumb Scabs. Lena Judith Drake edits this very cool monthly. Don't be cheap; pick up a copy and check it out today!

COVER ART: “I won’t be okay with a no” by Hélène Deroubaix.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Plate

I'm filling my plate.

1.) I'm going to participate in the S4C (Super-Short Summer Serial Challenge) sponsored by Declaration Editing (folks behind 4&20).

My serialized shorts will begin appearing the 1st and continue to appear every Tuesday and Friday thereafter at:

2) I'm splitting off and creating a more professional blog for my writing.
It is here: The Vice Con

3) Preposthumous Poetry and Stuffz and "fun" posts (christmas stuff, reviews, etc.) will continue being posted here.

4) Preposthumous will reappear the Monday after the 4th.

5) I hope you will join me in some capacity.

6) I am ready to believe you! [a Ghostbuster's ref?]

Monday, June 15, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #23

Click to en-biggen

Not a fan cinquain?

Monday, June 8, 2009

Big Boy Died Last Night

He was buried this morning.

I don't know when it's really gonna hit, but I was just getting something from the kitchen and after a minute I started waiting for him to approach from his little box and meow at me.

There was silence.

He would have been 17 this fall.

Life stinks sometimes, but I guess it is for the best. Something inside him was killing him (loss of hair, massive weight loss, etc.). I just hope the very end was painless.

He was a good friend, a good son, a great cat.

Sleep well, my cheeto-loving friend.

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #22

click to en-biggen

Originally called "A Little Bang"

Monday, June 1, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #21

click to en-biggen

I guess this is more of a senryu.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Two Poems

"Empty Box By A Busy Road" and "Nurses Stationed By Moonlight," two poems, appear in the May issue of Pirene's Fountain. Ami Kaye publishes this wonderful online poetry journal. Check them out!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #20

"Hissing Summer Night" was something I liked, but that I never fully fleshed out. It's a simple story of the heartache after a fire.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #18

"Obscurity for the Sake of Obscurity"

Poem rewritten into death.

Train footage from Public Domain on
Theme music is Telemann Sonata for 2 Violins mvmnt three
performed and released by MIT for free use.

Music is mine. Sorry for your ears.

Monday, May 4, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #17

"In The Context Of Bleeding To Death"

This is a poem written about the first time my leg leaked a couple of pints.
I liked it even with the wacky twist at the end. A tie-on, but quirky. But it's not something I send out anymore. So, enjoy in its end.

Click it to see it en-biggened.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Two Poems


"Like GLOW On A Saturday Afternoon" and "Murder For The Money," two poems, appear in the new issue (#3) of Gutter Eloquence Magazine. Jack T. Marlowe is the editor. Check It Out!

Click on the pic to watch the Heavy Metal Sisters take on Lil' Feather, Lil' Egypt, and Lil' Fiji.
The uploader didn't allow embedding.

This brings back memories of my childhood.

Monday, April 27, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry And Stuffz: Work #16

This is a little more pointless than Prepost #5. Kind of a time-waster: meow-meow. I uploaded a less-than-healthy workprint of it just to save time. Not very good. For You.

All footage is from some "Are You Popular?" Public Domain video obtained at
The song is a Brahms Op.39, #10 by Martha Goldstein. Dist. through CC lic. 2.0

Monday, April 20, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz: #15

"Tidbit #13"

This is something from my doom-and-gloom, happy-to-daydream Sophomore year at college. I spruced it up a little for this, and in the end it is actually 78% decent. To me, anyway.

All of the clips are public domain from various videos found at The music is "Caligaverunt oculi mei" by Tomás Luis de Victoria by the same folks who did Amicus Meus used in Preposthumous #9.

My theme is Telemann's Sonata for 2 Violins Movement 3 as distributed by MIT for public use.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Preposthumous Poetry & Stuffz #14:

"An Orange Rejection of Rejection" worked better in concept than executing simply as a poem in b&w on heavy stock.


click to en-biggen

Not the most authentic in its execution, I'll admit, but basically what I was going for. I kinda like the poem. It's dead, though. But anyway...yeah. enjoy.

A new Preposthumous Poem will appear Monday via youtube.

Two Poems

"The Annulment Simile" and "Wile's Speech To His Troops Before Kissing The Cavern Wall," two poems, appear in the current update at Thieves Jargon. Matt DiGangi edits this awesome journal. This is my second time appearing here. Check It Out!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Spring Cleaning

Been working on a few things. Fatman O'Toole related. <-- The original poem is due sometime around September in issue #4 of motel58. --> Maybe a chapbook thing.

Been thinking about the collection and actually, seriously, truthfully, looking into piecing it together.

Already got two bites out of this latest batch in about a week. Thieves Jargon--one of my favorite poems will be there shortly along with another that I heavily revised this time (and made much better). The other at a place called Breadcrumb Scabs (yeah, so the name kinda sold me on submitting--).

My sister's dog isn't feeling well (and on my sister's birthday, too). It stinks.

Happy Birthday, Sis.

Big Boy's been struggling with what looks like diabetes and I hate seeing him that way.

It sucks.

Brighter side?


Royals will finish 79-83 and second in the division. It's easy to see parity where there is an abundance of mediocrity. That is the AL Central code. So, Go Royals!

So, anyway. Been thinking about checking in more often.

Maybe doing little capsule reviews.

One hundred words and a handful of pics* of the leading, supporting, cameo, ladies.

It's what they want.
It's what google takes away.

Inside snark? Ya betcha!

* Note: I have this post tagged under Foto, but obviously they are not all mine. For instance, I would have been like three years old when Brett and the lady with the fine ass exchanged pleasantries. I do not own a signed Billy Butler card (thought it'd be cool) (and so did not take that picture either). Jennifer Tilly and Milla Jovovich are pretty, but I do not know them personally (thus...dur) These Photos Are NOT MINE; they are only used to demonstrate the eloquence of the world and to enhance culture as a whole.

My pictures are:
1) The sketch of Fatman O'Toole/Me.
2) Picture of my sister's dog, Ne-Hi.
3) Picture of Big Boy (which may already be on the blog...)
4) The Baseball.

The others are not.

Support A Starving Asshole